great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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