He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
