She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
