My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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