hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize