What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
