Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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