***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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