I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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