this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
