so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
