We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
