I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let's get the cat blown out
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize