Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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