you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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