I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
