i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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