She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
