Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She's the barista slut.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize