I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
