Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
