...so i touched it.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
