just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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