You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's blow job season.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
