Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize