Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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