When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
birth control should be required to get into college
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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