I feel like abortions should bother me more
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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