YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
