i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
