This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
