Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
