Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
