My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
