Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I deserve this hangover.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
