I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
