just come out here and I will go home with you...
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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