Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
