these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
