she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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