I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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