Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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