Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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