Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
