my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize