it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
