I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
