Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
