Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
