I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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