Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize