And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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