you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
