he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize