It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize