3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So drunk its hurt
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
