I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
