i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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