The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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