That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
