And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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