He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
